The Great Mull-dini

Because of my pronounced reduction in physical capabilities, I have become an authority on mulling things over. I sit most days and ponder. There is never any shortage of things to think about.

My most recent thought-provoking quandary is what would I do if the Chinese, with their million-man army, decide to invade New England where I live. This is not as far fetched as you might think.

I was watching TV the other day and the reporter was telling us about China’s willingness to funnel millions into the hurricane-ravaged Caribbean islands. This would mean a scary presence of money and personnel just 50 miles off the American shore. I learned the Chinese have been gaining footholds all over the globe. And here was one more opportunity. My mind started whirling and my mulling ramped into high gear.

A few years back, I found a survivalist website run by a former army-trained doom-and-gloom-er. I know I should probably have moved on but I was fascinated – much like a snake,  I was caught in the charmer’s prepper music.

The site gave instructions on what to do if various scenarios presented themselves – war, famine, pandemics, natural disasters. You know, all the happy circumstances of humankind’s annihilation. A lot of it was mostly commonsense – go to a remote location with your hoarded food, guns and ammo. And yes, take your loved ones, too.

The part I remembered and mulled over now was how to help the disabled. Basically, if they were hospitalized, kiss them goodbye and run for the hills. If your loved ones are fairly mobile, don’t waste time but load them up along with your dry milk stash and motor, not run, for the hills.

Facing a possible new Red Dawn dustup, only with Chinese soldiers instead of the Russians (remember that movie?), I am thinking that the government shouldn’t be so fixated with disarming the public. They may need us.

Anyway, I’m thinking of assembling my go-bag, just like I did at the turn of the new millennium when we thought we would all fall into chaos if our computers failed. I’ll keep my van gassed up and my provisions at the ready. I’ll also purchase a Rosetta Stone Learn Chinese in 12 Easy Lessons….just in case.

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