McGyver’s Apprentice

Lately I’ve been reading those oddball catalogues you get in the mail. Some are definitely geared for seniors but they have neat stuff younger folks with disabilities can use. I remember reading about a 40-something woman who needed a cane but was very unsettled by all the ads depicting much older people using them. It really put her into a funk. But I am not letting that advertising marketing bother me.

I’ve just placed an order for some interesting things that will make my life easier. Among other things: a gripper to help pull up my socks, and a gizmo to help me open those pesky pull-tab containers, (Actually, I ordered two, one for me and one for my lady friend from church who is 88. I figure if I need it, so does she!)

Some other things I did not order were a heart-shaped bell alarm clock, (Did they think seniors reading that catalog would actually need this?), a set of 12 floral handkerchiefs, (These were used back when people cared about the environment. I may rethink this purchase.) and my favorite: an escape hammer. Now if this doesn’t put the fear of calamity into you, I don’t know what will. This handy item breaks glass and also slices through seat belts in case you are ever trapped in a car. How scary a scenario is that?

One thing I didn’t see advertised for sale as a disability aid was a hot dog turner. Of all the many devices I use around the house, none is as important to me as this one. I keep it by my side at all times. It’s handy for picking up most things I’ve clumsily dropped on the floor: a phone, an e-reader (in its case), napkins, papers, the U.S. mail,  various items of silverware and food (Usually popcorn. I cannot for the life of me handle the stuff without its appearance on the carpet.) and also for getting a bottle of Starbuck’s Mocha Frappuccino from the ‘fridge (The turner grabs the bottle nicely around its neck. Yum.)

We, with disabilities, are an inventive lot. We confront obstacles and try to figure out ways around them. Remember that show McGyver? Well, today we could teach him a thing or two. But not if it involves handling string, bending paperclips, or welding  pipes. I would stink at that and even my hot dog turner would be of no help.