For Better or Worse

I once read an opinion piece about why some folks cry at weddings. I never gave it much thought before. I figured some were overly sentimental, others perhaps were displaying relief that the months of planning were over and that the tears were just nature’s pressure relief valve. Maybe some were just relieved that the bride/groom showed up at all. I went to a wedding (this is no lie) where I wasn’t sure the groom would make an appearance. He did and all proceeded as planned.

It seems, the article informed us, that as much as the reasons given above might also be true, the main explanation was that the newly-minted couple has no idea of the rocky road ahead of them. “For better or worse” doesn’t sound so awesome when you promise it on that day. After all, it’s the day to celebrate the “better” part. The people crying in the pews know the whole story of married life.

As a long-married person, I can vouch that we have experienced wonderful “betters,” and a few “worse” times. But nowhere in my youthful imaginings of wedded bliss was I prepared for dealing with one of us being stricken with MS.

I’d like to think that if it had been Bill, I would have rallied to be as supportive to him as he has been with me. This wasn’t how we were going to spend our retirement years. However, we’re still together and are doing as much stuff as this illness allows us to do.

We’ve been forced a little off our course but maybe that was the Grand Plan all along. Maybe we needed to be shaken up from thinking we were in charge of anything. After all, no one is guaranteed a rosy life. That idea only exists on TV. In fact, just assume there will be trouble along the way and you’ll save yourself a lot of grief and maybe not blame your spouse when your imaginary magical bubble is suddenly burst and you come face to face with the “worse times” and start to head for divorce court.

I’m sounding like a philosopher, aren’t I? But with age unfortunately comes wisdom learned the hard way. Bottom line: Be grateful every day for what you have and only sweat the big stuff.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Eloise
    Oct 07, 2015 @ 11:16:34

    How true-

    Reply

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