Hair I Am

So. I’m getting ready for our anniversary cruise vacation this week. My stress level is astronomically high. I’m beating down visions of all the things that could go wrong. My better angel is perched on one shoulder pooh-poohing any sign of calamity, while my devil angel is smirking on the other shoulder with anticipatory glee regarding the pitfalls of travel.

BA (Better Angel, who is always female) is calming me down with visions of smooth seas, good food, pleasant fellow travelers, and easy disability access to things. DA (Devil Angel, who is always male) is showing me panoramic vistas of doom: rough seas where I, in my wheelchair, am swept overboard, poisonous food where trips to the bathroom are impeded by distance, snarky dinner companions who will be rude and impatient with me, and barriers to movement onboard wherever I look.

Now, you may be thinking that I’ve got to get a grip. Cruises are notorious for being handicap friendly. BA also reminds me that I am not the only person who is in a wheelchair. DA puts his two cents in by telling me that while I am not the only person in a wheelchair, I’ll be the only person onboard who will have multiple embarrassing incidents: backing into people, running over their toes, knocking tables over. Well, maybe even I couldn’t do that last one…but you never know.

All this flipping back and forth in my mind led me to think about dyeing my hair. Currently, I have hair that is shot through with experience and maturity. I’m thinking I’d rather tell folks I have a chronic illness than to have them think I’m in the chair because I’m OLD. Vanity, thy name is Jan.

My third  angel, Logical Angel (who is sexless and floats in front of my eyes and usually is a source of wisdom) told me to leave my hair alone. I did, and anyway, in anticipation of the vacation, I bought a really cool pair of red-framed glasses. How chic is that? I’m also borrowing a pair of stiletto heels (tres very chic). If I have to have gray hair and be in a wheelchair, I might as well make a statement. BA, DA, and LA will just have to silently go along with me for this ride.



1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. olivia
    Jul 14, 2014 @ 11:09:35

    Your FA (friend angel) says you’ll do fine. Forget the fancy heels and have a great time.


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