Trying to Mobilize – Again

I had a six-month appointment with my neurologist yesterday. Nothing new to report. He said I was stable and I guess that is a good thing. Better than being in a decline. I was so hoping, though, that I would have been able to tell him that I thought I saw improvement somewhere – anywhere. The truth is that I don’t.

I can’t believe that a short two years ago, I was employed part-time in an office job. I was walking, driving, doing errands, going to the hairdresser unassisted, and many other things we all take for granted.  When I finally threw in the towel, I was using a cane but I was becoming increasingly fatigued by afternoon. I thought if I dedicated all my strength to fighting this disease instead of pushing papers on my desk, I would benefit from the transition.

 What I found two years later is that I’m mostly wheelchair-bound, home-bound, brain-bound. I started this blog as a pressure release valve for my head. Regarding the wheelchair: Some days I was so weak I couldn’t stand up for very long. Fearful of falling, I resorted to the chair just to have it as a precaution. I found myself relying on it more and more, especially during the hot and humid months of summer. I’m not sure, looking back, if my reliance on it made me rely on it. You know, the old Catch-22.

I’ve tried to use the walker to get myself back to walking, but there again my fear of falling has me cautious so I stopped trying. When someone is here late afternoon to watch out for me, the fatigue hours appear and I’m not able to do it anyway. Catch-22 again.

I’ve decided to set a goal for mornings because, obviously, that is when I feel the best. Mindful of falling, I’m going to place the wheelchair at the end of my home’s interior hallway. I’ve got fifteen feet or so of walking area, with walls on both sides. If I can just walk the length (with the walker) and back just once, I can maybe see how I do with adding distance in the future. I’ll carry my portable phone in my pocket just in case. I have resisted the Life Alert bracelet so far but that may be in my future if my experiment fails.

Wish me luck. I’ll let you know what happens.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Catherine
    Oct 08, 2013 @ 17:30:36

    Thank you for sharing! Are you aware of the BalanceWear Vest? I just started this and it really is helping with my balance. Stay strong, great things will be coming from that pipeline!


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