One Side Effect – Cursing. Who Knew?

I used to be a very nice girl. A curse word would never have been heard coming from my lips. That was then and this is now. Of course, it didn’t help that my husband can be very colorful in his speech if the occasion warrants it. I learned a lot of questionable words from him.

I’ve found that dealing with MS has brought out the coarser side of me. I am sorry to admit this. When I have trouble getting dressed and just putting on my socks needs Herculean effort, I rage at my life. It’s enough for me to get my own bar of soap! Maybe a psychologist would say it is better to speak out than have the words fester only in my mind. I doubt this. All day long I face challenges to do the simplest things. If I vocalized every single time, I would be confused with the longshoremen on the docks of New York City.

 My only alternative is to choose the timing of my outbursts. I find that cursing mightily (only occasionally) actually helps my mood – but only if I am alone when I do it. If I slip and utter expletives when someone is around, I feel badly and then I start to cry. Analyzing this, I guess I am telling the disease off in private. When doing so publicly, it sounds like I am complaining or want sympathy.

 So my advice is to get safely angry at this disease by cursing the heck out of it. Make up your own words if necessary to keep from getting truly vulgar. I just read an article by Michael J. Fox, who described his Parkinson’s disease as the gift that keeps on taking. I think by venting once in a while because MS, too, seems to take so much, we actually get the momentum to keep on fighting it.

 When I get that sock finally on when dressing, I mentally thumb my nose at my reality and savor that small victory against this disease. I’ve got MS, but it doesn’t have me.


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